What Do You Keep Telling Yourself?
Watch your thoughts and your words and they’ll tell you.
Editor’s Comments: Sometimes the most negative person I deal with is myself. Those little messages that repeat in my brain, could easily be the ruin of me. My internal conversations can also make wonderful changes in my life. It’s not easy to watch your thoughts or to watch your words.
I’ve found that one of the best ways to watch your thoughts and words is to become conscious of them. That means listening to what’s going on in your head. That’s something I’m still personally working on in my life. To watch your thoughts this listening process is imperative.
By Susan Russo
“The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.”-Ralph Charell
What I keep telling you is that it’s all about what you keep telling yourself. No matter what the situation or circumstance that you are dealing with, the words and thoughts that you choose to describe it will determine how you feel.
For instance: I’m coaching someone who has been dating a guy for about 8 weeks. They really hit it off and seem to have a lot in common. Things were going along great and little by little he’s texting and calling less and there is a general feeling that he is pulling away.
Not only is she feeling rejected but along with that comes a lot of past hurts and pain. Of course, it never feels good when someone doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings you have and your hopes of a relationship with this person are beginning to fade away. But…
As I always say, “It’s not what happens to you in life that matters most (because we are ALL going to experience different forms of adversity and heartache) it’s how you CHOOSE to perceive it, how you deal with it. And I should add, more importantly, how you deal with it in your head.
She said, I feel so depressed, I cried all night; I am going to just go home and go to bed.
Now, if the truth is that we create how we feel by our thoughts, how would anyone feel if this is what they are putting in their head?
Her response was, but I do feel depressed. I feel so sad. Look I know it isn’t easy and it does hurt and you should cry; get it out, release the anguish and then, move on!
So how do you do this? In the past when I have been visited by some of life’s challenges and can’t seem to think straight (because my emotions are clouding my view), I always say, I have to get my head back on straight! And, you do this by the words and thoughts you choose to repeat to yourself about this situation over and over again.
You plant you two feet firmly on the ground and come from a position of strength. You know that you are a good person who may have just been treated unfairly but you will survive. You take back your power and begin to view this with the correct perspective by telling yourself the truth.
Instead of depressing yourself even more with your sad thoughts of hopelessness and despair, you think the truth, such as: “This really sucks; I was hoping things would work out but I am grateful that I only wasted 8 weeks of my life instead of 8 years!”
Or, “It hurts when someone rejects you but thank God/Allah/my Higher Power that he isn’t the only man on earth!” Or, I am strong and this will pass since now I really see him for who he is and who he is clearly isn’t what I want.”
There are a thousand different versions of what you can say that will move you away from depression and hurt and closer to getting your head back on straight. It’s your choice.
If you love or like someone and they either change their feelings or worse yet they simply discard you to the side for someone new, what can you do about it? Seriously, what can you do?
You can beg them back. That will go over big and do a lot for your self esteem. You can hold onto them in your mind and live in the past.
Or, you can pick up the pieces of your life, go through the process of healing and move on. Or, as I always say, you get your head back on straight!
It never feels good when things don’t work out the way we want, but you can either let it tear you apart or you can let it make you stronger. We often grow and learn the most through our adversities.
Don’t allow someone to steal your power and make you weak. If they choose another course, so be it, now you just have to steer your ship in another direction. There is a whole big world out there and all you can see is one little person. Don’t make the mistake of making another person your whole world.
When your happiness depends on having someone in your life and they either leave or you never find them, the outcome will be bleak. But, if you learn to love yourself and your life, with or without someone, your life will look good from all perspectives.
When things don’t work out the way you want, it doesn’t mean your life is over it only means you are on a new course. New doors will open and if you are not too busy looking in the past; you will be able to walk through those doors to a better place than where you are right now.
Choose the kind of thoughts that will empower you, not limit you. Choose to look forward instead of behind you and choose to take back your power.
Susan Russo is fast becoming known as a miracle worker in transforming people’s lives. She has the ability to turn negative circumstances into life changing opportunities. No matter where you are in life Susan knows how to help you achieve whatever you desire. To learn more about Susan’s products and services go to Susan’s site. And, pick up a copy of her FREE ecourse too!
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