Do you think your date is a player?
A Player. A Ladies Man. A Pick-Up Artist. A master of the art of seduction. Different names, same man. The kind of man who wants to seduce as many women as he can in some vain attempt to prove his manhood.
Yeah, he sounds like a jerk. But you and I know he would be the most charismatic man we know. He knows what to say, when to say it. But do you know how to spot him, when you first meet him. Do you know the warning signs that a man is a player? If you don’t you could have a problem. When you fall under the spell of a player, watch out because you won’t know what hit you. Until it’s too late. If you don’t know the warning signs of a player, he can seem too good to be true.
Being in a relationship with a player will start with you climbing to the heights of passionate romantic happiness and leave you in the depths of needy, clingy desperate dependence. When a man displays the player signs, it puts me in player blocking mode. Knowing some of the warning signs of a player when you meet him, will help keep you from losing at his game.
How to Know The Signs That a Man is a Player.
Intentions: We all date for different reasons. People go on dates with their own agendas. You can’t trust that he wants the same things as you. A player mainly dates for sex. If that’s not what you want… watch out for this player sign. The easiest way to block this play is to set boundaries before you date. I’m not saying you have to wait for sex, that’s your decision. But know that players won’t wait too long.
Attention: How much attention are you getting from him?
Does he behave like a man obsessed? Getting attention from a handsome man would be enough to bring a smile to my face. Calling. Wanting to be with you. But why all this sudden attention after only a few dates? He wants to monopolize your time. To stop this block this players game don’t make yourself too available until you know him better.
Compliments: Is he constantly complimenting you? Not that I’d stop someone from doing this one. A player can read people very well. He knows what you need to hear. He senses when people may be at their lowest and that’s when he make his move. I don’t mind someone saying something to make me feel good, but only if they’re being sincere. If you doubt his sincerity block his players game. Accept the compliment, thank him and keep it moving.
Consistency: So many lies, so little time. How can he keep track of them all… He can’t. Players will eventually slip up. If you spend enough time with a player you’ll notice little cracks in the façade. Over time everything will show. Don’t stick around to see it unravel. As soon as you see lies and inconsistencies…leave. Don’t stay with someone you can’t trust.
Future Plans: The player knows what you want from him.
A relationship. We all have dreams of our future with someone special. Don’t let his perfect tale of a fairy tale ending lead you into a pseudo relationship. For me commitment is a relationship goal but his fake future is just that… fake. You don’t need a faux beau you need the real deal. Block this player sign by knowing what you want. And not being afraid to tell him.
Look for the signs.
The signs of a player man. End his players’ game before it even gets started. Look for the warning signs of a player, it will keep you from wasting your time on the wrong man and give you time to find the perfect man for you. Remember you can’t change a player, no matter how much you want. As long as he wants to play the game, he will. And you’ll be the one getting hurt. So your best bet is to avoid getting involved with a player in the first place.
photo courtesy of mahalie.